This month’s article features a Q&A between Dr. Kate and her longtime friend and colleague, Dr. Lacy Frazer. Enjoy!!
Dr. Kate: When we were both psychologists working in a federal prison complex I was so impressed by the class you taught called “Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life.” It was a life-changing course for the inmates who participated. I especially remember the presentation on “Energy” that you gave to 200 inmates. They were spellbound by what you had to say. You discussed many properties of personal energy that resonated with me. Today, I would like you to talk about these basic properties of energy and how they are relevant to people who are actively dating. Please start by telling us about some of the basic principles of energy.
Dr. Frazer: I discovered these principles of energy following a powerful personal trauma. While on the quest to heal from that trauma, I discovered the field of quantum physics which studies atomic and subatomic systems that make up energy. I learned that everything is made of energy; we as humans have energy coursing through us at all times and we live in an energetic universe. This energy is both electrical and magnetic. My discovery of quantum physics completely changed the lens through which I view life, walk through life, and interact with everyone and everything. I see the power of each person’s energy field which includes the quality of the energy running through them and the frequency of the energy they generate and emanate. What is so crucial about this is that each person’s energy is magnetic. So we are always attracting into our life people and experiences that are an energetic match to what we are putting out.
Dr. Kate: Is that like “you reap what you sow” or “what you put out you get back”?
Dr. Frazer: Yes! This is the scientific explanation for these commonly used phrases.
Dr. Kate: So, are you saying that people have the power to attract the mate they truly want?
Dr. Frazer: Yes. But it’s important to understand that the power to attract someone lies in one’s own energetic vibration. Most people are unaware of the quality of the energy they are putting out into the world. Essentially, the energy field we are “vibrating” can be largely negative, positive, or neutral. Whatever the overall quality is, it is also magnetic. This means that we are often unknowingly pulling into our life people and experiences that are a match to our energy output. For instance, if we always feel angry at someone or something, we are likely drawing to us people and experiences that match our anger. Similarly, people who energetically “vibrate” abundance and love, attract more of the same in their life. Does that make sense?
Dr. Kate: Absolutely! So, assuming that most people reading this want to attract the “perfect” mate, how does one do that?
Dr. Frazer: To put it very simply, thoughts lead to feelings and feelings are E-motions….or energy-in-motion. So, if we have over 60, 000 thoughts a day, and each thought contributes to this “energy-in-motion” AND this energy is magnetic…..then we better be paying attention to our thoughts and how we are feeling - because it is pulling into our experience energetic matches to our predominant energetic vibration.
Dr. Kate: I see many singles who are fed up with the dating “game” because they have met people who lie about themselves online or are insensitive or callous. Maybe they have had an abusive long-term relationship in the past. The “baggage” from these experiences can really sour the next attempt at dating. Do you have any suggestions for people who have been hurt in relationships or the dating process so they don’t keep having the same experiences?
Dr. Frazer: To really change one’s predominant energetic vibration takes lots of practice. The goal is to get your own energy field clear, clean, and positive. When you do this you will automatically change the people and experiences that come into your life.
Dr. Kate: So, how does one do that?
Dr. Frazer: Again, this is a question that is not easy to answer in a sentence or two. However, I can say it begins with self awareness.
For example:
• Learn the power of positive thinking. Practice it!
• Interact with positive people.
• Feel grateful and appreciative.
• Engage in activities you love.
• Spend time in nature.
In contrast, pay attention to the thoughts that contribute to negative emotional states (i.e., judgment, complaining, self-pity, resentment, competitiveness) and come up with antidotes to those negative thinking patterns.
Dr. Kate: So, getting back to our title, I hear so many singles complaining that they don’t experience any “chemistry” with another person. I’m thinking it may have more to do with “energy” or “physics.” What do you think about that?
Dr. Frazer: Yes! When we talk about chemistry in this situation, we are really talking about energy or physics. More important than visualizing the person you want to have in your life, FEEL the feelings you want to feel when you are with this person. In your daily life, practice feeling the joy, the love, the connection that you desire. The more you feel the feelings (even if just in your own mind and heart), the quicker you will call into your experience the person that matches those feelings!!!
Dr. Kate: Thank you so much for sharing with us today. I am sure many of my clients will find it helpful. I know you mentioned you are a life coach. Do you also coach people regarding relationships?
Dr. Frazer: Yes, I help people through my coaching and consulting practice. It takes some time to gain self-awareness about energy. My clients also learn and practice the necessary skills to shift the quality of the energy they are putting out which helps them heal, change, and live the life they are meant to live!
Dr. Kate: Dr. Frazer has agreed to offer a seminar, “Energy and Relationships” in October 2018. Stay tuned for information so you can attend that seminar. In the meantime, you can reach Dr. Frazer at:
Lacy Frazer Coaching and Consulting, LLC
lacyfrazer@gmail.com
919-448-4268